Oh the PIANOOOO

I revisited an old friend today. The piano.  I haven't had a lesson since I was 13. I walked up the stone path feeling really good about my decision to start lessons again. I didn't feel nervous or the least bit worried that I found this woman on craigslist.  I see her apartment filled with flowers on the balcony and buzz her number. She called me Lauren at first which was fine, I corrected her right away. Too many traumatic experiences where people didn't call me the right name, so better correct right in the beginning eh? She opens the door and at first I have a sudden feeling of hmmm because she looks like one of those elder ladies that would be a tarot card reader psychic with her fire engine red hair and an Armenian accent. I walk in to her earthy spiritual home and she immediately says that I look like Mia Farrow. Such a complement:) She directs me next to the piano and as her introduction she plays for me. She played Mozart, Beethoven, Bach,  and Chopin by memory. I knew in that instant that she was my piano guru. The lesson was amazing. It was so Buddhist! She said that the piano is her meditation. She first teaches by ear because she figures that learning by ear is better than trying to first decipher notes on a page. She was so right. We started off with Russian scales from middle C. She had me close my eyes after a couple of times and I was amazed that I did it better than with eyes open. Wow. She told me about a famous Japanese Pianist who was born blind. It is amazing what the mind can do. I played simple songs by ear-ABC, Marry had a Little Lamb, and Brother John. I have a few exercises written by Czerny. Beethoven's prime student. I need to memorize by next week. Anyone have a keyboard they want to sell?
It is great getting back into music. I felt like the little girl of 8 years old revisiting my scales. I love music. I want to really express myself through this beautiful instrument.

Tibetan test was par. I didn't know the word for desire so that is the word of the week འདོད་པ་doo ba (umlaut the oo and go from low to high toned)

Enjoy the rest of the week!

It is the little things

As I got off the phone with my sister Margot, she told me that it really is the little things that make a difference. I have to agree. Lately, I've noticed many little things that are touching. When I first got here to Boulder, I didn't know how to use the bus system. I went down to the stop and thought I could figure it out by looking at the map, but there were numbers and colors and places I didn't know....it was a nightmare to look at for the first time. But a man named Norman in a wheel chair started talking to me. He must have known that I looked a little lost. I told him that I was new to the area and that I needed to get to the main Naropa campus. He was so helpful and told me which two buses I needed. What a relief. So today, I was running out the door early to mail a couple of letters. The mail room doesn't open until 8. So at 7:45 I bought a house chai from the coffee shop next door and waited until it opened. Meanwhile, I knew the bus came at 8:10. I thought, Ok a little bit of a window but I will have to push. So I got in line first but I had to buy a small package, so they sent me back to the cashier of the Pharmaca (where the mail room is located) and then back to the mail desk. I must have looked impatient because the lady didn't seem that fond of me. I sent off my letters, grabbed my chai and ran out the door. As I was exiting, I saw the bus. My heart sank....It was about a block away on the other side of the street and I decided that I probably wouldn't make it. But I ran anyway. Breakfast peach jostling and chai a sloshing, I made a break for it. I came to the light and of course I can't get across. For some reason the bus was waiting at the stop a lot longer than usual. I said a prayer and as the bus was taking off, the light changed. This is when cross country came in handy. I sprinted yelling "WAIT WAIT!!" The poor man saw me and stopped the bus. Most of my chai seemed to puddle on the lid and my peach was definitely a nice mushy bruise. But I made it. I got on the bus and who did I see but Norman. It was Norman who helped with the delay because he is in a wheel chair and it takes sometime for the wheelchair accessible ramp to eject from the bus. Because Norman was there this morning, I was able to catch my bus. You know. Sometimes I think people like Norman are really angels in complete disguise. Riding around in wheelchairs, doing what they can to help poor innocent girls who are trying to make it in this world.

So it is the little things that make a difference.  Like the light tap on the arm in the movie theater to let you know that "I will be back." A walk with a friend around a neighborhood at night talking about giggly nonsense.  The study buddy that invites you over for dinner. The stranger on the street that directs you to the right location. Planning a birthday.
You know. It's funny. Because Buddhism stresses so much on suffering (dukha in sanskrit), I thought that we were doomed for suffering. That there was no hope for anyone. We were just trapped and that was it. Something has happened to me in the last week or so that has really impacted me. I have started to see everything as being quite fun. Now, I have a test tomorrow in Tibetan, it might change a bit for that hour. But really, life is one big heep of fun. I have started looking at life with more positivity. Yes it is suffering, and yes this world is not fair with sickness and death. But it is amazing what can happen when you start to let go. The more you hold onto things the heavier it gets, and the more burdensome. Lately, there is a lightness that wasn't there before. I think it allows one to feel more connected with reality. Oddly that is how it happens. FLip the coin to the positive and see where it goes.

So as I said, I have a Tibetan test tomorrow. SO the word of the day is་བླ་མ་(la ma which means guru)

Tuesday phew over

 Today was a bit overwhelming with a brief overview of Buddhism beginning right after the historical Buddha stood up from the Bodhi tree and started teaching. Today we covered the "three baskets" Trpitaka: Sutra Pitaka, Vinaya-Pitaka, and Abhidharma-Pitaka. Sutra are mainly discourses of the Buddha, sermons, public talks etc.. Vinaya covers the monastic community. Abhidarma is more philosophical and metaphysic. For anyone of interest, there are three canons of Buddhism: Pali Canon, Chinese (influenced East Asian Buddhism), and Tibetan. Of course Bon is not part of these Canons but that is my mission:) We shall see.
So I've had sometime to contemplate life a bit today in the midst of soaking in Tibetan for my test on Tuesday. So I'm beginning to understand the significance of meditation.... I think. But what really is enlightenment? When we attain it then some say that we are just out of cyclic existence. Others say that then our mission is to help sentient beings after attaining enlightenment. Does that mean we stop evolving? I understand that we completely dissolve karma and go beyond the conceptual mind. So no more "action" is taken....but if we come to help other sentient beings, isn't that an action? Or is the action when we label it good or bad. Or give it an adjective. So karma is only when we conceptualize it. hmmmm. So action is only bad when we think it is. But also we must take in account of motivation. If our motivation is pure then our action is pure....or "good" but that is still a concept. hmmmm.

Do we reach that non-dual union of emptiness and form? So from that do we keep evolving after enlightenment to catch up with the every changing evolutionary world that we live in or can we see everything in one spot, one instant and enlightenment goes beyond time and evolution? Are we only here to transcend or transform? Do we transcend by transforming? Surrendering the ego to the benefit of evolution. A continuous transforming flux. We are not solid, we are in a stream of continuous transformation. I think enlightenment has to do with that. Surrender. Jump out of the ego box for the benefit of humanity. The warrior. I think once we forget about the questions of enlightenment and just surrender for humanity....that is when we will attain it. So meditation allows us to transform. By catching our thoughts we catch our patterns. The transformation begins. New neural pathways are opened up. We move out of our stuck patterns that bind us in our ego box. Meditation, from what I understand, allows us to look at ourselves and move stuckness. First we have to realize we are in an ego box....then we say whoa!!! It's time to transform and bust out. See people for their authentic selves and not through our own conceptual mind. The concepts get shifted through meditation, and perhaps dissolve? I think then we reach our purpose on this earth. It just spontaneously arises the inherent wisdom, loving kindness, clarity, openness, and generosity. When we are unstuck from our conceptual mind, these inherent characteristics shine forth.

Have I lost sense? I'm tired. I hope this wasn't dizzying. This was my thought process today. With the occasional, what will I have for lunch? I can't believe I did that three years ago. If she really knew who I was, I don't think she would think the same way. Ka, Na, Pha Ma (Tibetan). OH the mind!!!!

I'm going to do extra meditation tomorrow.

Tibetan word of the day: སྙིང་རྗེ་(ning je. compassion)

Monday tea

Monday started off with a bang in Mind and Its World. Yes it is called MIND and ITS WORLD. Scary business. Not The Mind of the World but Mind and Its World. Basically Buddhist Philosophy. So on the test I couldn't for the life of me think of the proper wording for the 4 seals of Dharma. Well now I know so let me enlighten you:

All conditioned phenomena are impermanent.
All contaminated phenomena are suffering.
All phenomena are empty and selfless(ness).
Nirvana is Peace.

There you have it. Buddhism in a nutshell and I couldn't think of it this morning. I don't think I will ever forget this now. My professor is hilarious. He is Nepalese. Completely compassionate and very clear. He demands attention with his wit and superb mind. Someone in the class today had no idea what the answer was to one question, and he said, "Is it in the book? Look it up." So funny. Basically we are learning definitions with classificaitons upon definitions upon those classifications. I feel like we are taking apart Russian dolls only to find another Russian doll, and then another Russian doll. Until you end up with just the 8 particles. I feel like i'm in advanced kindergarden relearning the definition of an object and thing.
"The definition of an object is that which can be known."
The equivalents of object is knowable object, existant, established base, object of comprehension and phenomenon.
The classification of object are thing and nonthing.
"The definition of a thing is that which is able to perform a function."

Are you bored yet? I actually find this stuff incredible. We break down everything! The string theory and Buddhist theory go side by side. Breaking something down to the bare particles. Eight of them actually.
Crazy. So after a mind blowing class of objects, things, matter, consciousness, non associated formation, phenomenon, etc. I sat outside and enjoyed the Colorado sun. Did I mention that it is beautiful here every day! So amazing. I then went with a friend to the Tea house from Tajikistan. They actually brought the materials from this country to be built in Boulder. It was a gift. Awesome tea and convo.
Now I am soaking in as much Tibetan as possible. It is starting to get hard. Vocab Vocab Vocab. My mouth is not used to making certain sounds. So many homonymes!

About to go hit the hay. Feeling good about life.

Tibetan word for the day:་ཇ་(tea)

Sunday blues

I always get nostalgic on Sundays for the comfort of home. Maybe it takes me back to the days we would get ice cream from Highs after church. Probably the best ice cream ever. I would sit in church just thinking about ice cream. We would have a big sunday brunch of pancakes and fruit. Dad would read the horoscopes out of the Washington Post. Predicting our future for the week/year/life. Then we would take a walk with the dogs and check on the other various animals we had at the time.  The lush VA mountains would be tainted pink as the sun would set. It just felt so comfortable. Of course we would huddle on the couch and watch 60 minutes, Touched By and Angel and Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. I always wanted Sundays to last forever, un-enthused with the school week ahead.
Now I am in Colorado. I think about home and all the wonderful memories. I spend my Sundays taking a walk on Pearl. Maybe even treating to ice-cream. Listening to the music of the street. Studying Tibetan of course. I have recently treated myself to David Sedaris book since he will be making an appearance in Boulder. Talk about hilarity. I can relate to the big family drama that goes on within his books. I'm currently reading Me Talk Pretty One Day. I highly recommend his books for a good laugh. They create a good balance with all this heavy reading on Buddhism, which I also love, but one has to have a balance.

Tibetan word of the day: ཉི་མ་(Sunday or Sun)

Bolder on fire

A very sudden tragedy has swept through the Boulder Mts.  A 6,422 acre fire has destroyed 172 structures and 169 homes. Some people from the Naropa community have been affected by the fire. Everywhere you turned, someone was discussing it on campus. My dance professor had to evacuate her and her boys from their home. Someone in the MA Religious Studies department had his house burned to the ground with his two cats inside. Apparently, someone ran into a propane tank which caused an explosion. The winds have been sweeping the fire in a very random pattern, making it hard for the fire fighters to contain it. My house was on evacuation watch; therefore I spent the evening with my Teacher's sister Palden. She gave me yummy Tibetan Butter tea and helped me with Tibetan. Which was great! Although, most of my stuff is still in my car and I haven't had much motivation to get it out yet. They haven't said officially that we are in the clear, but they have made progress with containing it, so we should be fine. Please pray for the people who have lost their homes. What a lesson on impermanence. Also, mercury is still in retrograde and as my housemate pointed out, mercury is the planet of communication and communication has to do with fire. There have been other fires as of late in Los Angelos and a warehouse in Denver. Weird. Please Mercury, get out of retrograde. Which will happen on the 12th if anyone is into that astrology stuff. Hang in there. 


My studies have been going well. I enjoy my Tibetan class very much. I can't wait to get better and be able to speak and read fluently. I have created a Himalayan Bon Society! I do not have any members as of yet, but I plan on getting started soon. I'm waiting for Mercury to get straight again. I hope to educate people about the Bon. If anyone is interested and reads my blog: check out this website: http://bon-encyclopedia.wikispaces.com/bon+overview. Says most of what people need to know. It is a beautiful religion that is close to my heart. Send me some good vibes as I begin my new adventure with this society. 


So for health: I am off wheat, which I think will help my stomach problems and just overall keep the inflammation down in my body. I am drinking tea every night. Eating mostly rice and veggies with the occasional meat that is grass fed and no hormones. Raw milk=awesome. From my wondering traveler friends, they have introduced me to the wonders of a reishi mushroom. Drink this tea or get the capsule at a vitamin store. It will cure or help just about any ailment. It is an immune modulator. Very medicinal. Treat it with respect. 


I hope everyone is doing well out there in the world. Meditate, read, drink tea. Namaste.




Word of the day/Week in Tibetan: མེ (me: low toned nasaled) it means fire.