Cloudy Sunday

I haven't visited my blog in awhile. I wasn't aware that people were reading it until I received comments that they were acknowledging my script. Well, to catch up from my last post would be a book. The abridged version will have to do. I recently removed myself from Facebook for the time being. It is amazing the withdrawal symptoms that I have been experiencing. Nausea, confusion, disconnection, loneliness....but from what? Peoples faces, pictures, posts, pokes, comments, etc. They aren't even there!! It is a representation of them that is not real. It is not REAL! Yes, it is them to a certain extent, but I find it is only a cursory glance of who they really are. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm living in extremes and other people use FB in a healthy manner. It is a network to keep in touch with people and when I go back to school, I'm sure my face will magically reappear again. It is nice that they have that option to 'deactivate' instead of wipe yourself out completely. Time to see what is around me instead of daydreaming about lives on a screen.

So yes I am taking a respite from school. Nurture is the theme. Nurturing others and myself. Which sometimes happens simultaneously. Massage and horses are my occupations. All hands on, which is a drastic change from what I was experiencing. Desk work. Forgetting about the body completely, now it is nothing but my body, others bodies, and animals bodies. It is my job to keep others healthy. Plus, looking after myself which usually takes a back burner. We had some people stay at our house who were part-taking in an energy healing year long course. There was talk of our farm transforming into a healing center and I think there is a powerful force making it happen. IT is exciting! The energetic force makes it hard for me to move, but my ties to home will be stronger in the future when I do finally leave for school. School? Not sure yet. Still marinating what is in store for me.

As I look out into the field, I see green green green. This calms me. I'm a nature being. We all are. But some of us who work in industries, companies etc, forget the connection. For instance, I had to kill a baby copperhead with a friend yesterday that was wedged in a horse stall door. I hate killing things but I eat dead meat all the time. So, it just got me closer with the natural cycle of the universe.  I also justified the motivation. I knew if I didn't kill it, the horses could be in danger. She threw down a large boulder on its head while I broke the spine with a shovel. This baby snake was tough! It put up a good fight. We put it in the woods. Probably a good snack for a Black Snake. Baby copperheads are more dangerous because they can't control their venom. So be careful and aim hard and fast!

A massage FOR ME awaits me downstairs. Beautiful.

Books I'm reading: The HUNGER GAMES trilogy. Finished the first book. Excellent. Great commentary on war, Hollywood, materiality, fame, "love", and youth.

Start of the New

It is the start of the new. New for many things. It is the start of the new year, the start of being 25, and the start of the new school year. A fresh start is always nice. But I used to think a fresh start meant leaving the old behind and continuing with the new. Over the break I thwarted this notion. I decided to bring the past into the new present and celebrate. For my birthday, the guests consisted of women from important phases of my life. Juju from Camp Strawderman, Julia from elementary/middle school, Rachel from high school, Lindsay from College, Faye from Massage school, and Katie joined as a semi-new gem. It was so nice to see these beautiful faces as we enter into true womanhood. I hope they weren't too scared with my Dad's stories of Bronx witches or the fact that we have various thankas on the walls. Our family is a bit spiritually eclectic. I guess we just accept it all. Something I truly cherish. No wonder my masters program is Contemplative Religions at a Buddhist inspired school. These women share a past with me that I want to start cherishing. Each day is precious and can leave an impact in your life. Some days are more profound than others, but each day counts as something unique and precious. Dwelling on past mistakes doesn't do any good. I can see how the mind can get stuck there and can fuel future actions. The cycle of samsara if you will.
On my birthday, I got to take a dance class with mom. Not tap, like we did in high school, but ZUMBA!! Emily was also a friend from the past and we had a blast in her class. So worth it. Go to her class in Woodstock if you get the chance or find a Zumba class near you. Amazing workout and your will have fun dancing. She kicked my booty.
The start of the new semester is almost here. I recently changed my religious studies track to Contemplative Religions so I can have a broader base to teach. Very exciting. I can't wait to start teaching in a high school setting or community college.
Changes are happening all the time. This year seems very auspicious and fun:) I'm thoroughly intrigued to what the future holds. Happy newness to all.

Book(s) I am reading: Angels in my Hair