I lie down on my back with my knees bent. My head has a slight ache as I look at the stick-on stars in my sister's old room. It's 2:05am.
Insomnia has been a part of my life for about 5 years. But it has an explanation.
Well here goes...I have hypertonic pelvic floor disorder.
I know what you must be thinking...what? Doesn't sound so bad.
No it isn't bad in the sense that I don't have a terminal illness. I don't need surgery (hopefully). All my vitals seem to be good.
But what I do have is pain. Itching, stinging, throbbing, prickly pain. Where you ask? Well....in my vulva (I know it is a funny word) and lower pelvic floor region. Sometimes back, hips and legs. Not fun.
So it has changed my life. I left Boulder, I left Philadephia, and here I am back at home trying to win this. It has taken me years to actually get a diagnosis. I didn't know what to make of it. I wanted to let people know in a blog post because well, people just don't know and it can be very lonely. I get comments like, "Wow you look tired, are you alright?" "Are you sick?"
No, just can't sleep and I have pain in places I probably shouldn't talk about in school.
I have always seen myself as a very active person, but lately I've been trying to visualize these tight muscles into liquid jello.
I'm also a walking pharmaceutical for pain and sleep. Blah. Talking to the girl who used to make Burdock tea from the Burdock in the yard and hunt for her own mushrooms.
I have many blessings and now more support than ever. Which is awesome. I don't feel as lonely and people are starting to understand.
Insomnia has been a part of my life for about 5 years. But it has an explanation.
Well here goes...I have hypertonic pelvic floor disorder.
I know what you must be thinking...what? Doesn't sound so bad.
No it isn't bad in the sense that I don't have a terminal illness. I don't need surgery (hopefully). All my vitals seem to be good.
But what I do have is pain. Itching, stinging, throbbing, prickly pain. Where you ask? Well....in my vulva (I know it is a funny word) and lower pelvic floor region. Sometimes back, hips and legs. Not fun.
So it has changed my life. I left Boulder, I left Philadephia, and here I am back at home trying to win this. It has taken me years to actually get a diagnosis. I didn't know what to make of it. I wanted to let people know in a blog post because well, people just don't know and it can be very lonely. I get comments like, "Wow you look tired, are you alright?" "Are you sick?"
No, just can't sleep and I have pain in places I probably shouldn't talk about in school.
I have always seen myself as a very active person, but lately I've been trying to visualize these tight muscles into liquid jello.
I'm also a walking pharmaceutical for pain and sleep. Blah. Talking to the girl who used to make Burdock tea from the Burdock in the yard and hunt for her own mushrooms.
I have many blessings and now more support than ever. Which is awesome. I don't feel as lonely and people are starting to understand.
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